


Perfection

by mychemicalcass



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Anorexia, Bulimia, M/M, Purging, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 23:16:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6398179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mychemicalcass/pseuds/mychemicalcass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who would expect that Kyoya Ootori, such a smart and organized boy, had an eating disorder? </p><p>WARNING: TRIGGERING</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perfection

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't read if mentions of an eating disorder, purging, or self harm can trigger you!

Tamaki notices the sickly pale color of Kyoya's flesh, the way his bones seem to nearly break through it.

He notices the way his uniform is now way too big, hanging from his shoulders.

Tamaki knows he should say something to Kyoya, his best friend, yet he doesn't. And so, Kyoya's figure, and health, gets worse.

Tamaki can see his friend swaying with each step he took, like he can barely keep himself awake.

He can see how Kyoya struggles to keep himself up, and he knows that the boy now had trouble supporting himself.

Tamaki knows he should say something, but still, he doesn't. 

But he still hadn't expected this.

He hadn't expected to walk into Kyoya's house, coming to talk to him about something with the host club, and find the boy passed out in the bathroom, limp form hunched over the toilet.

He had been purging.

Tamaki never suspected, not for a moment, that his best friend was purging. He had thrown up so much that there was blood evident around the boys mouth.

The blond quickly pulls Kyoya towards him, lightly shaking him and taking his hands. They were cold, bony. It wasn't right.

He gets no response from the frail boy, and so, worried, Tamaki lifts Kyoya in his arms. He pauses, wide eyed upon realizing how light his friend is. He practically weighed nothing.

He takes him to his room, lying him down gently. Tamaki leaves the room quickly, going to get him a glass of water.

When the blond comes back, Kyoya is sitting up, clutching his head with one hand and the other wrapped tightly around himself.

Tamaki quickly walked over to the raven, gently handing him the glass of water as he sat next to him.

Kyoya's eyes widened as he looks at the other. "When did you get here?" he asks, voice sounding raw.

"I came to talk to you about the host club, and I found you passed out hunched over the toilet," the blond says quietly, concern clear in his purple eyes.

'Crap,' Kyoya thinks to himself, looking to the side. There was no doubt in his mind that Tamaki knew he was purging. He had tried so hard to hide it, and of course, he finds out.

"Kyoya, why do you do this to yourself?" The blonds voice is barely above a whisper. He doesn't understand why his friend would do this to himself.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about me," the raven says all too quickly. 

"How could I not worry about you? Kyoya, this is serious!" Tamaki says frantically, purple eyes wide.

"I know that, Tamaki! Just let it go! It doesn't concern you!" the boy shouts, bony fingers clutching the bedsheets.

The blond stares at him, momentarily startled. "Kyoya, I just want to help. This isn't healthy," he whispers.

"I don't care! I said to just let it go!" There are a few moments of tense silence, neither one looking at the other.

"I can handle it myself. I'll be fine," the boy says after a few moments, voice quiet. "Don't worry about me."

"Kyoya.."

"You should leave." The raven's voice cuts through the air like a sharp knife. Tamaki looks at the boy with wide violet eyes. "Please, let me-"

"I said to leave," Kyoya says, with more authority. The blond is still, before nodding, standing up and silently excusing himself from the room, shutting the door behind him.

He doesn't walk away, he remains outside, ear pressed against the door as he listens. He hears the shuffling of footsteps, that soon stills. After a few moments, he hears glass shatter, and hiss of pain.

Tamaki doesn't walk in just yet, but after silence stretches on for longer and longer, he hesitantly opens the door, eyes going wide when he sees the sight in front of him.

Kyoya sat collapsed on his knees in front of his full body mirror, which is shattered, broken glass scattered around him.

The raven was holding a bloody piece of glass to his wrist, staring back at Tamaki with wide grey eyes. What was the blond doing still here?

"K-Kyoya.." Tamaki whispers, walking over to the boy. He crouches next to him, taking the glass and his wrist, knowing that his friend would continuously reach for shards of glass over and over.

"Why are you doing this?" the blond choked out, violet eyes brimming with tears.

Kyoya looks away, down at the ground, staring at himself in a piece of glass.

"I'm disgusting."

Tamaki's eyes widen, and his grip falters momentarily before he tightens it. "Of course you're not, you just need to start eating more, and then-"

"I need to eat less."

"Less?! You're practically skin and bones!" The blond wasn't lying. When his eyes roamed over Kyoya's body, he would noticed how skinny and pale his arms were. His ribs protrude from his chest, a sharp curve in on his waist. It was horribly unnatural.

"That's a lie." Kyoya doesn't lift his head, clenching his fists as he stares at himself. His cheeks are gaunt and hollow, eyes even more lifeless than usual. His hair is thinning, just a positive sign he's getting thinner. But not thin enough.

"Kyoya, you have a serious problem. You need help," Tamaki whispers, holding his friends shoulders. The raven glances up, hands shaking. 

"I want to do this. It's not a problem. Hell, I /need/ to do this," he mumbles.

"That's why it's a problem! Because you want to! Because you think you need to! If you keep goddamn starving yourself, you're going to drop dead!"

Kyoya flinches at Tamaki's loud voice, looking down again. "Stop yelling." His voice wavers, and the blond swears he can hear a touch of fear in his tone.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so worried, this isn't natural. Please, eat, the only disgusting thing about you is how thin you've gotten. You were perfect the way you were before," Tamaki whispers, looking to the side.

Kyoya shakes his head again, squeezing his eyes shut. "You're lying. I was always disgusting, and I'm not going to be perfect until I get thinner."

"What exactly is your idea of perfection? Throwing up, in order to get yourself dangerously skinny? Pushing away meals and torturing yourself, just to achieve some disgusting goal? If you get any skinnier, I'm going to get you help, whether you like it or not. And I'm going to get your father involved."

That seems to strike something in Kyoya. He looks up, eyes wide and full of panic. "You can't get my father involved. Please."

Tamaki freezes, staring at Kyoya. He had never heard the boy ask so desperately for something, never even heard him say please. He didn't know what hurt worse, hearing the raven nearly begging him not to tell his father, or the look on his face when he tells him that if he doesn't stop, he's going to.

"I'm sorry, Kyoya, but you need to stop this. It's not right, and it's serious." The boy nods, looking at his lap.

"Okay, I'll try to stop," he whispered, a tear slipping down his cheek. Tamaki wraps his arms tightly around Kyoya, pulling the boy against him. "It's okay."

The raven presses his face in the crook of the blonds neck, letting himself show weakness this one time. After all, it's only Tamaki.

The boy rubs Kyoya's back, murmuring soothing words of comfort in his ear. He trembles with silent sobs, tears staining the boys shirt beneath him.

They stay like this for awhile, Tamaki trying to comfort Kyoya as best he can, and the other only sobbing into his shoulder and disagreeing with him over, and over, and over.

The blond pulls away just a bit to look Kyoya in the eyes. "Kyoya, please believe me when I tell you that the old you was perfect, and quite frankly, beautiful. I miss the old you. Not only has your appearance changed, but your personality too," he murmurs.

The raven glanced down, but forces himself to look back up, and keep Tamaki's gaze. "I know, and I'm sorry for it."

After a few moments of silence, the blond says, "Come on, let me make you something to eat." 

Kyoya smiles, and laughs softly at the idea of /Tamaki/ being able to cook. The sound of the raven laughing makes the others face brighten.

"I truthfully don't believe that you can cook," Kyoya says, shaking his head a bit, smile lingering. "Hey, I can! Come on, let me show you!"

And so the raven does, he lets Tamaki cook for him, and let's him help. He lets the blond guide him back to health, and he makes sure Kyoya never relapses into any of his old habits.

Kyoya has never loved somebody more.

**Author's Note:**

> Kyoya Ootori makes me so emo


End file.
